Nicola Baker

Christine Dao

Plymouth, MN, USA

d•i• •y•

CT, USA

Aidan

London, UK

Kimberly BB.

Trish M-L

Allentown, NJ, USA

Kate Phipps

Asheville, NC, USA

Angie A

Edmonton, Canada

Marcy

Boise, Idaho, USA

Mich Josephine

Jackie Roberts

Liverpool, UK

Eidin L

Dublin, Ireland

Chuy Villa

Chicago, IL, USA

Patricia Schebsdat-Sciuto

Aargau, Switzerland

Shari

Fremont Ca

Benedikt Reynisson

Mila X

Kyoto, Japan

Mosaic

Cedar Rapids, IA, USA

Adriana Valeria

Ibiza, Spain

Nene Lelashvili

Tbilisi, Georgia

Identify your internal protectors, appreciate their hard work, and practice handling triggers with calm.

Science

Recovery & Healing

Healing

Psychology

Guided Imagery

Visualization

English

Dr. Richard Schwartz guides the listener through the experience of addressing complicated, and sometimes difficult, relationships. During this meditation, Dr. Schwartz helps the listener examine the triggers in those relationships and then get to know their own parts' needs in a safe and supportive manner.

Fire Drill: Internal Family Systems (IFS)

 So we'll take some more deep breaths. This time, think of a person in your life who really seems to get your goat, seems to trigger all kinds of protectiveness inside of you. Could be a family member, someone you work with. Could even be a celebrity of some kind. Your mind's eye, put that person in a room by him or herself, you're outside the room watching him or her through a window. And as you watch that person, have them do the thing that seems to get you. Have them do the thing that triggers you. And just notice now the parts of you that are outside the room with you, wanting to protect you or reacting in a vulnerable way to the person. You may only notice one in a big way, or there might be a whole room full of them out there with you. Now you don't have to go into the room with a person at all. We're just going to spend a little time getting to know these parts. So see if you can get curious about them. And let's start with the ones who want to protect you. Just spend a little time getting to know what they're afraid would happen if they didn't come up with this person. They didn't try to take over, step in front of you. They didn't try to be the ones to deal with him or her. What they're afraid would happen. And see if in that conversation you learn enough to actually show them appreciation for how hard they work to protect you from people like this. How hard they've had to work in the past to keep you safe. You can also learn about the parts they protect from this person. Thank you for watching. It may be enough to just learn about these protective parts and the vulnerable ones they protect. And you could spend the rest of the time continuing that. But if it felt safe you could also ask if they would be willing to let you enter the room while they stayed outside. They could watch through the window if they wanted. See if they're willing to let you go in and be with this person. Not so the person will change. But just to see how it goes, how it is. To let you handle him or her as an experiment. And again there's no pressure, they don't have to allow that, if it doesn't feel right. But if they give permission then go ahead and enter the room, noticing how you're feeling with this person without your parts. And interact with him or her in whatever way feels right and natural to you. And if as you're interacting you sense one of those parts coming in, see if it's possible for it to trust you and actually to go back outside. Again, reassuring it that you can handle this. Thank you. And whenever the time feels right you can go back to your parts outside the room and see how they react. See how they think you did. You might also want to know from them how willing they are to let you actually do this in the outside world with this person. When all that feels complete you can begin to shift your focus back outside. Come on back. Thank you.