Navigate urges to pull by riding them like waves and uncovering the underlying needs they signal.

English

This is a shorter version of the Urge Surfing for Hair Pulling meditation, designed to support you in the moment of a hair pulling urge. We will practice getting to know the urge with curiosity and explore what message it is trying to send.

Mini-tation: Urge Surfing For Hair Pulling

Hello and welcome to this mini meditation for hair pulling. For many people with hair pulling, urges are an unavoidable part of their daily life. This quick practice is designed to be used while you're experiencing an urge to pull, or right when you notice that you've started pulling. Let's begin by finding a comfortable position. Now, take in a deep breath, and let it out. As you exhale, relax your body, including your shoulders and jaw. Again, take in a deep breath, and exhale, letting go of any tension you may be holding on to. Now I invite you to acknowledge the urge, if it's present, and see if you can frame it as a messenger rather than an enemy. Hair pulling often acts as a regulation tool or coping strategy that shows up when you're off-center, so the urge is a message that you've become dysregulated or out of balance. One of the most effective ways to manage the urge is to respond with curiosity and ask yourself what it's trying to signal. Now let's try urge surfing. An urge goes through the same process as a wave in the ocean if it's not acted on. It builds until it crests, falls, and subsides. Sometimes it may feel like the urge to pull is going to keep intensifying and never stop, or you may believe that you can't tolerate the discomfort of resisting the urge to pull. But these are just feelings, and all feelings are temporary experiences in time. No sensation can stay intense forever. In this exercise, you are the surfer, and your goal is to ride the wave. You don't want to get rid of the wave, or prevent the wave, you just want to experience it and ride it out. Once you notice an urge in your daily life, you can imagine it as a wave rising and then falling again. As you're noticing the urge, I invite you to pay attention to how you're experiencing the urge. Is it a thought? An emotion? A sensation in your body? Just take a moment to see what you notice, what comes up. There's no right or wrong answer, and it's okay if what comes up doesn't make sense to you right now. Just allow whatever shows up. When we get curious, we'll find that there's so much to notice about a simple urge. Now take a moment to check in with yourself, and your current state. Ask yourself, what do you need in this moment? Are you tired? Bored? Stressed? Hungry? If there were no limitations or obligations, what would you rather be doing right now? However you experience it, just notice it without trying to change it. Now let's get to know the urge in a different way. I invite you to imagine that the urge is a part of you that you can talk to. It might help to imagine in your mind that you are sitting on a park bench and your urge is sitting next to you. Let the urge know that you want to learn more about it and understand it better. Ask the urge what it wants to tell you, or what message it has for you, then pause and wait for an answer. You can also ask, how are you trying to help me? What positive outcome do you want from me? What are you afraid will happen if you didn't help me in this way? Are you open to trying other ways of doing this job? Now notice how you feel. How is it different from when you started? What did you learn about your urge? Are there any needs that aren't being met right now? Remember, the goal is to notice what's already there, not to change it or make it go away. As we come to a close, I invite you to choose a mantra for the rest of your day to use when you notice an urge arise. This may be something like, when I notice an urge, I choose how to respond. Or, my urges are messages to pay attention. May you have a mindful day.