Lisa Amoroso-Johnson

Explore inner tension, release old values, and use self-compassion to align with your authentic self.

English

This meditation is a chance for you to explore the experience of inner tension as it relates to embodying new values. It takes a lot of conscious work to change your mind. It’s a process to explore values that didn’t serve you that were handed to you by culture, religion, or family and embrace your own values. It takes a long time to change your mind. Awareness is the first step. Let’s take some time to do this practice together.

The Gap Between Who I Was And Who I Am

 This meditation is a chance for you to explore the experience of inner tension as it relates to embodying new values. It takes a lot of conscious work to change your mind, and it's a process to explore values that didn't serve you that were handed to you by culture, religion, or family, and then to turn and embrace your own values. I had a recent experience where fear got in the way of me living into one of my true values, and I wanted to share this meditation to help you work through that experience when it comes up for you. A bit about my experience. One of my true values is to share who I am even when I'm afraid it will be hard for the other person to hear. In a recent situation, I disappointed myself by staying quiet at my own expense to avoid conflict and to help someone else to be comfortable. Fear held me back from speaking up, and then the moment passed. Almost immediately, I felt disappointed in myself. I felt that I was lacking the ability to live into my true value in that moment, and then I was surprised because I experienced a kind of full-bodied anxiety, which confused me. And of course, my first impulse is to want to distract myself, to avoid the discomfort, or to push it away. But in that moment, I decided to take some time to listen to what my anxiety was telling me and to turn towards the anxiety, and that helps it to dissipate. It takes a long time to change your mind. If you're even starting to question things, I want to acknowledge how important that step is. Awareness is always going to be the first step to interchange. So let's take some time to do this practice together. Settle into a comfortable position that allows you to fully engage in this practice. You can kind of get out the wiggles, adjust your body, you can sit, you can lie down, you can close your eyes if that feels comfortable to you, and just begin by turning your focus onto your breath, maybe trying inhaling through the nose and then exhaling gently through your mouth. With each inhale, noticing the sensation of bringing the air into your body, and then with each exhale, noticing the sensation of air leaving your body. As you continue to breathe at your own pace, reflect on the idea that we are bringing to the meditation. This is the idea of embracing your own values and releasing those that no longer serve you is a courageous endeavor. Imagine yourself standing at a crossroads where one path represents a value that was handed to you by culture, religion, or family, and the other path is illuminated by your own true value. See those paths clearly in your mind's eye and see that in any given moment you have a choice. Now if you're able, recall a situation where fear or another form of resistance held you back from living into one of your true values. Try and visualize this experience as vividly as you can, remembering maybe how it felt to be on the verge of expressing yourself authentically, or whatever that may be, and then maybe feeling the fear that pulled you back into old patterns. As you relive that moment, acknowledge any emotions that arise, holding space for them without judgment. Hold space for whatever those emotions are, and also notice if you have judgment towards that emotion, remembering that these emotions are messengers guiding you toward deeper understanding, and the goal is to notice the emotion, and then also notice any other emotions around the emotion, and work towards offering self-compassion to any emotion. Now let's delve into any physical sensations that may have accompanied this experience. Notice in your body where you feel tension or discomfort, perhaps tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, or tension in your throat. If it feels helpful, imagine that you can direct your breath toward that area, bringing your attention to that area, sending a message of acceptance and openness, and imagine that with your breath you can bring a soothing warm light that can gently melt away any tension. With each breath, feeling the knots loosening, the tightness softening. Your body is a vessel of wisdom, and in this moment of connection, it begins to release the grip of anxiety. Notice this key difference between meeting your emotions rather than pushing them away. As you continue to breathe, bring to mind the true value that you long to live into. Envision yourself embodying this value fully. Picture yourself in that same moment speaking your truth, even when it's difficult, and notice how that creates a sense of self-trust and groundedness. As you visualize this, imagine the feeling of relief and peace that wash over you when you are able to live in alignment with your true values. Feel the satisfaction of honoring your authenticity, even in the face of fear. Embrace this feeling, allowing it to expand within you. And again, you can always return to your breath as a tool. With each inhale, invite a sense of clarity and self-compassion. And with each exhale, allowing any tension to flow out of you like a gentle stream, leading with self-compassion. Remember that this journey of aligning with your true values is a process, and it's okay to take it one step at a time. Just as changing your mind takes effort, so does embodying new ways of being. And so expecting this lag time will help you to find more self-compassion. As we come to the end of this meditation, gently bring your awareness back to the present moment, perhaps inviting gentle movement. And when you're ready, slowly opening your eyes and allowing yourself to take in the external world. Remember that the time you spend practicing in meditation is for the goal of it serving you, even outside of this time. So continuing to believe that these practice repetitions will begin to bear fruit out there in the world as well. By taking the time to explore your inner tension and values, you've embarked on this meaningful path of growth. Thank you for practicing with me, and I hope that you are able to carry this sense of peace and groundedness with you as you navigate your day.